Glass Thermometers

This letter is written in jest from the point of view of the CEO of a glass thermometer manufacturer.


To our loyal customers,

We are grateful to those customers that still find our fine glass thermometers useful enough to buy. Our factory would be closed down without your support and don’t think a day does by that we’re not appreciative. A few years ago, our competitors began to go off course, exploring digital technologies and strayed away from our industry’s core mission “making glass thermometers”. We stayed the course. While they said our mission should be to measure an accurate temperature, we answered back that our mission was to continue to improve glass technology. What surprised us was the disloyal laboratories, clinics, hospitals and veterinarians who migrated to the digital thermometer. We are seeking to win them back as I write this letter, with a sleeker, glassier model coming out this December in time for the Christmas shopping season. Meanwhile, our assembly line hums along much as it has for the last hundred years. I want to end by thanking the customers who still find our thermometers to be superior tools after all these years. As manufacturers of the world’s best glass thermometers for laboratory, oral and rectal uses, we will continue to bend over backwards to keep pace with the needs of our customers.


Yours in tradition

Abe Murcury